Have A Safe and Fun Filled Weekend!

Well, Crap update

Cactus Mark had suggested going to Lowe's for the new fridge, apply for a Lowe's Card and get a 10% discount and no interest for a year. So that's where I went and that's when it all went sideways.

I walked up and down the aisles, several times and studied every fridge they had. I finally settled on one, which had all the features I wanted and none that I didn't want. Went up to the counter guy, told him what I wanted and sure as shit they only had one left, and that was the floor model.

So here was the dilemma - Do I take the floor model @ 15% off, guaranteed delivery the next day or take the Lowe's Card and wait a week while they try and find me one still in the box. I took the floor model, had to, everything was starting to go bad.

I don't see as I had any real choice.

My Kind of Woman

A beautiful message about growing old:

Well, shit......
Now I forgot what it was.

Well, CRAP

And on top of all the other crap going on around here, my 16 year-old refrigerator died. Just in time for a nice holiday weekend. Hopefully I can find something on sale.

The Economy is So Bad:

1. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

2. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

3. Hot wheels and Matchbox cars are now trading higher than GM cars.

4. McDonald's is selling the 1/4-ouncer.

5. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

6. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

7. People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

8. Motel Six won't leave the light on.

9. The Mafia is laying off judges.

10.. The bank returns your check marked "insufficient funds"...You have to call the bank and ask if they meant you or them.

It was a bit hot yesterday

6pm Hard to see, but it says 112.

Trip Cancelled

When the kids got back from Summer Camp, they told me that they had decided that they did not want to go to Kentucky this year. I told them it was their decision and wasn't about to force them to go. I also told them it was up to them to explain things to their grandfather.

So, I emailed him to give him the bad news.

Several days went by and he finally called to talk to them. (Start MAJOR guilt trip)

Well, they stood firm and explained that they just didn't want to spend time away from home this year, maybe next year.

And being the kind of adult he is, he exploded just like I figured he would, told them that was it, they'd never hear from him again and hung up the phone. That really bothered the oldest one, but he didn't cave, but he did wake me up about 0230 to let me know he was still upset. The Bug didn't seem to care.

Not real sure exactly how this is going to play out over the next few weeks/months, but I'm pretty sure they won't be any birthday/Christmas presents coming from Kentucky.

Oh, did I happen to mention he's also a Baptist Minister???

TMZ.COM is reporting that Michael Jackson has died

"We've just learned Michael Jackson has died. He was 50.

Michael suffered a cardiac arrest earlier this afternoon at his Holmby Hill home and paramedics were unable to revive him. We're told when paramedics arrived Jackson had no pulse and they never got a pulse back.

Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II.

Jackson had 13 number one hits during his solo career."

Barack Obama was looking for a call girl.

He found three such girls in a local pub, a blond, a brunette and a redhead.

To the blond he said, 'I am the President of the United States.. . . How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'

She replied, '$200'.

To the brunette he said, 'I am the President of the United States.. . .. How much would it cost me to spend some time with you?'

She replied, '$100'.

He then asked the redhead.

Her reply was, 'Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants down as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, keep it rising like the price of gas, and keep me warmer than it is in my apartment and screw me the way you plan to do the veterans and the retirees...... then it won't cost you a cent!

Oh, YUK!

The next dump you take could be used to build a school in Japan. Plus other ways your waste is too valuable to just flush.

Here's a good example...

...of why California is broke.

"They say the number of abandoned phone lines could reach 16,000 - a cost of about $3 million annually."

And that's just in LA!

Parenting FAIL

Huge Tornada Slams Nebraska