Have you seen this?

It's the itsy-bitsy bikini that dissolves after only a few seconds in the water.

$82,165 (USD)

Looks like Honda has finally gottten a clue

I present "The Fury". Now I HAVE to get a bike license.

My Office Mates

Hard at work

I'm not a doctor

And I never played one on TV, but I'm pretty sure that shoving not one, but two hammers up your ass will NOT cure your constipation.

It just don't get any better

Girls, Guns & Bikinis

Eight Words With Two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) ad
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes

Another PSA

Guys: You need this info. So here it is, the top seven porn stars you can take home to Mom. If anyone gets lucky, I don't want to know.

PLEEEEEEZE!!! ...

NO MORE pig-flu EMAILS!

or MICHAEL JACKSON JOKES

What we need is to get back to what email was designed for....

I suck

Back at the end of April, I planted me a small garden. It's the middle of July. So far I have harvested one zucchini and two tomatoes. I suck.

For the sniper that has every thing else

A cup holder

400-Million-Year-Old Penis

PENIS

Sorry Ghostrider, it's rush hour

Now THIS is a fly-by. Suck it Tom Cruise.

Checking Out The Ass

See, he is normal

BAMOPOLY

The object of the game is to destroy American capitalism by having the government take over everything!

Tokens include a bus, a teleprompter, a sprig of arugula and a waffle iron.

Wanna play? No??? Too bad, you're already playing... And quite frankly, in this game, nobody wins!

For Some Reason

On some level I just can't explain, I find this..................disturbing.

*25 Signs You've Grown UP*

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh Shit what the hell happened?"

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.

We're doing it wrong.....

Enter North Korea illegally - 12 years in jail.
Enter the US illegally - free health care, free education, welfare - blah, blah, blah.

Not me

Would you buy a "standing room only" seat on an airline?

This is simply brilliant

I give you - The Shit Box

I don't think so

Have you seen this? A fully enclosed, retractable, glass balcony on the 103rd floor of the Sears Tower. Uhhhhh, no thanks

Have A Safe and Fun Filled Weekend!

Well, Crap update

Cactus Mark had suggested going to Lowe's for the new fridge, apply for a Lowe's Card and get a 10% discount and no interest for a year. So that's where I went and that's when it all went sideways.

I walked up and down the aisles, several times and studied every fridge they had. I finally settled on one, which had all the features I wanted and none that I didn't want. Went up to the counter guy, told him what I wanted and sure as shit they only had one left, and that was the floor model.

So here was the dilemma - Do I take the floor model @ 15% off, guaranteed delivery the next day or take the Lowe's Card and wait a week while they try and find me one still in the box. I took the floor model, had to, everything was starting to go bad.

I don't see as I had any real choice.